Thursday, December 8, 2011

December 8 Every Year

Today is the 31st anniversary of the assassination of John Lennon. I cannot believe it has been that long and I cannot believe he died the way he did. Within the fabric of the universe, it is so implausible that he would be gunned down, that my brain cannot process the information.
When George Harrison died it broke my heart as well, but we saw it coming. He was diagnosed with cancer and suffered through it until he could fight no longer. There was kind of a morbid death watch going on and I hated every minute of it. Even though I knew he would be better off in whatever peaceful afterlife he had created for himself, I could not stomach the idea of another Beatle dying.
John's death was a huge shock. I had gone to bed before they announced it on Monday night football. Apparently I was too wimpy to stay up and watch the whole game. I was eating my Wheaties the next morning with the radio on and they played a bunch of Beatles songs in a row. I got chills. Knew something was up. Was devastated when they talked about it.
A man who devoted his life to promoting peace being gunned down by a clueless idiot. A man who adopted New York City as his home because he felt comfortable there. He could walk around and people would respectfully approach him but he was never harassed. He dug that. And got killed for it.
John's music is straight ahead. Brutally honest. His emotions were raw and he put them out there for all to see. His first solo album is so raw and emotional it is both painful and cathartic to listen to. Take a chance - listen to Mother - see how it makes you feel.
He was the antithesis of the typical rock star. He allowed people to see his humanity; he was sensitive and loving, intelligent and vulnerable and he didn't mind you knowing that.
He took a lot of crap for the way he promoted his beliefs, especially after meeting Yoko, but he was willing to be ridiculed in order to bring attention to causes he felt were important. Especially peace. He used his celebrity in a positive way and he tried so very hard to change the world, to get his message across, to get people to think differently.
It takes a lot more strength to expose your honest emotions and feelings than it does to walk around in a testosterone haze pretending to be so damn tough. When Sean was born, John took five years off from the music biz to take care of his son. There are iconic photos of him in a Japanese kimono, hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, holding Sean in his arms. He bragged about the fact that he had learned how to bake bread. A giant in the music world who scaled his life all the way back to home and family and absolutely loved it.
He emerged in 1980 armed with the creativity inspired by pure family love and released an unbelievable album. Then he got killed. He had a whole new perspective and the talent to express it, and he was robbed of that chance. And we were robbed of that chance.
Beautiful Boy was John's song to Sean. Beautiful lyrics full of love and hope. Cool video. At the end John whispers "Good night, Sean. See you in the morning." It destroys me every time I hear it.
When Beautiful Boy was released, it ripped me apart. Because of Sean, because of John, and because I had a son of my own, born in 1980. Those emotions carried forward to 1983 when son number two was born and on into today. I would listen to that song alone when they were in bed, consumed with my love for them, knowing how lucky I was to be able to hold them in my arms and kiss them on the cheek.
The world needed John Lennon. The world still needs John Lennon. Imagine what he would be doing today to promote peace and to try to bring some sanity into our ridiculous government.
I think he made people uncomfortable with his honesty and his willingness to call any kind of attention to himself to get his message out. Some say his message of peace and love and a world without war are simplistic, but we all know deep down inside that that is what we all want.
But we are all jaded, so we joke about it. John Lennon had the guts to try to do something about it against all odds.

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