Saturday, December 17, 2011

Personality Crisis

What is personality?
Everybody has one. Except cock-a-roaches and republican presidential candidates.
Think about it. We are all essentially the same. A heart, couple of kidneys, liver, maybe a brain, lungs. We all struggle through life with soul crushing jobs and no money, kissing the ass of the Mortgage Vampire for the privilege of living in his house. Then we 're gone.
But within that sameness exists 7 billion different personalities. Everybody has a different take on life, how to live it, how to express yourself within it, how to get through it, how to squeeze something good out of it, what pictures to hang on the wall.
We talk differently, have different attitudes and different senses of humor, different intelligence levels, different likes and dislikes, different energy levels and attention spans, different opinions of right and wrong, evil and good.
What is this? Where does it come from? I'm thinking it is the expression of your soul. Your very essence.
The truth is clouded by all the things that affect the expression of your personality; what your parents did to you, how others have treated you, your fears and doubts and regrets. Out in the world we are all actors, but still that essence squirms through even if it is distorted.
I have a personality, even though there are those who would question that. My brother has a personality. There are similarities and radical differences. We came from the same parents as far as I know, and were raised in the same way. His sense of humor is quick and intelligent. One sentence out of his mouth in a conversation will cripple you with laughter. My sense of humor is based in the absurd. Strange comments that are often misunderstood. I have to work to make you laugh.
My brother understands business and operates successfully within that world. I am driven creatively and cannot function within the bus-i-ness world. We are both talented musically, both sensitive and loving.
Whatever similarities we have, our souls are different and that is where the uniqueness comes in.
Animals have different personalities, for Christ sake. You might expect all cats to be the same, all dogs to be the same. Not even close. My two cats have two radically different personalities and express them effortlessly. Had two cats before that, each different. Had a magical, mystical dog named Onyx who had a radically different personality than Cooper, my son's dog.
It's the animal thing that gets to me. They don't think "this is who I am, this is the face I will present to the world". They just are. If it happens that naturally, and is so different from pet to pet, it must be an expression of essence, of the soul.
It's too bad we humans are so twisted. Imagine how cool it would be for 7 billion different personalities to shine into the world in purity? No self doubts, no fear. Pure essence.
The art world might disappear; every life would be a work of art.
We are drawn to people with similar traits. If you love Monty Python, my senses are on high alert that we might get along. I will at least give you the benefit of the doubt. If you think Ellen Degeneres is funny or even has a hint of talent, I wouldn't take your hand if I was sliding off the earth and you reached out to save me.
We enjoy sharing similar interests but still do it uniquely. My take on Monty Python is a little different than yours, my brain perceives them differently than you do. You think this bit is funny, I think that bit is funny.
I am shooting for lofty goals in 2012, one of which is to invent an Essence Illuminator. A wand I can point at you to briefly reveal your truth. I could learn from that and bathe in the beauty of honesty and individuality. Maybe use it to set you straight if you so desire. Of course I would have to point it at myself first. I am completely delusional and I like it that way, but it would be stunning to face my own truth. I could skip all the bullshit and race down the right road, the road to inner peace. Or dive into a whiskey bottle if my soul proved to be dysfunctional (ghastly thought).
Personality is cool, even in the twisted, repressed way we express it. Air it out people, let it breathe. The more you expose it, the stronger it gets. The stronger it gets, the easier it will be to fight the good fight.

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