My god these things are delicious. I haven't had one in years, probably ten years or more. Time becomes evasive as you age.
I don't remember how we were introduced to them but Carol and I discovered them somehow somewhere and I became addicted. It was one of those things where she would give them to me as presents on special occasions. She could get them locally. Gold box, gold wrappers on the bars, thick Hershey's chocolate and tons of almonds.
Each bar was calculated to feed 310 people, but I would down a bar at a time on my own. 50,000 calories, 49,000 of them from fat. Def***inglicious.
They disappeared and I haven't had one for a gazillion years. You can order them online from Hershey's and I plan on doing so as soon as I get a good factory job.
Apparently they have a history.
It was introduced in 1921 as the 50-50 or Fifty-Fifty bar, bursting with almonds. It was considered a fancy good along with Bon Bons and 1/2 and 1 pound boxed Kisses. In 1925 a half pound 50-50 bar was created. In 1931 Hershey added a 2 pound Baked Almond Milk Chocolate bar. Sweet Jesus.
The candy has been marketed as Hershey's Baked Almond Milk Chocolate, Hershey's Toasted Almond Milk Chocolate, and Hershey's Almond Milk Chocolate. It became The Golden Almond Bar in 1977, a 14 ounce bar.
I don't give a damn about the history, I care about my taste buds. I suddenly developed an urge for them tonight and I am twitching like a heroin addict. As far as I know you can no longer buy them locally, gotta order them from Hershey's.
They are now marketed as a package of five 2.8 ounce bars, totalling 14 ounces. I would have to eat the whole goddamn box, which would not be a problem.
I am jonesing and I will acquire them.
Facts and figures: Serving size is one bar, calories are 420, 260 from fat. So if I ate all five in one sitting (which is unavoidable) I would consume 2,100 calories.
Isn't that cool?
Do yourself a favor. Order up some of these bad boys. I'll get mine and we will meet in an alley somewhere after dark.
Passersby will hear snarking, snuffling, gobbling, drooling, ravenous sounds as we pound this delicacy into our guts.
And they will double over in jealous rage as we smile a demented chocolate smile.