Tuesday, June 5, 2012

What Do I Do Now?

I finished God Is Not Great. I now have an uneasy feeling that I better get supremely motivated to do something with my life.
Hitchens arguments are cogent. Cogent is a great word. Anyway he made the history of religion look silly and religious texts look sillier. And of course it didn't take CH to convince me of the evils of religious fanaticism. My Aunt Dina has been busy teaching me that over the past 58 years.
It is hard to argue against the fact that the basis of any religion is the fear of death. We are afraid to die, so we create an afterlife, a benevolent God, something, anything, to hold onto as our heels dig trenches in the ground, futilely attempting to stop the march towards the grave.
Man is not created in the image of God; God is created in the image of man. I love that.
At this point I'm not sure I can even hold onto the idea of an eternal existence of my soul or essence, independent of any religion.
Considering all this leaves an empty feeling in my gut. But it also germinates the idea of accelerated life enjoyment.
I have wasted enormous amounts of time worrying and regretting, leaving me only a speck of time to make up for it. The average lifespan for a male in the U.S. is around 75. That gives me 17 years. What is 17 compared to 58? Sobering factoid.
Of course my mind will not let go of some kind of desperate hope for existence beyond physical death. But the idea looks more and more unlikely.
I hate the idea of one shot only and then nothingness after I die. There is nothing satisfying about that.
Unless I make myself happy now.
If I can whip up some happiness born of a new perspective, then I can enjoy what I have.
Achievement has to play a big role in that. Regardless of what your opinion of me is, I know all too well how badly I am underachieving. I am much more intelligent and much more talented than the life I lead would suggest. This situation must be corrected. Soon.
But the perspective, the attitude thing, that has to happen now. Change your mind, change your life. It really is as simple as that, although neuroses, psychoses and republicans do complicate things.
Enjoy every sandwich. Be here now. Love yourself. Call me Father Joe.
This book has contributed to the whirlwind of change that is currently consuming my mind and my body. There's something going on here, folks and you better stand back. There could be an explosion, a shedding of skin, an evolving.
Then again there could be nothing.
By the way, I gobbled up Christopher Hitchens words greedily. The book was a gourmet meal of intelligence and wit. In an effort to rest my brain, I have moved on to Brutal. A book written by Kevin Weeks, partner to Whitey Bulger.
From intellectual discourse to brutal mob violence.
I dizzy myself.

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