Monday, June 4, 2012

One More Time (at least)

I just spent 7 or 8 minutes dancing and singing my way around the kitchen/dining/living room area to Back Where It All Began. Allman Brothers.
Total abandon, sweet release, a full on exposure of my soul and nobody was here to see it except my cats.
I like it that way.
Just finished washing the dishes, preparing to come up here and write, the song came on and I was immediately whisked away to the land of total truth.
Music, music, music, music, music.
So powerful, the ultimate balm for the soul.
Nothing, and no one can surpass the hypnotic effect The Allman Brothers Band has on me. Inspiration, religion, philosophy, joy, release, life stripped of artifice - this is what they do for me.
It's Monday morning on another cold, rainy June day and I was feeling kinda down. Faced again with the enormous question of what I am gonna do with my life. My current employer offers me no hope, no future; they have toyed with me enough and I am done with them. I will use them if the opportunity arises as they have so coldly and callously used me, but for the sake of my soul I must escape their clutches at the earliest possible opportunity.
I have recently recognized some intelligence and some talent in myself but I have not yet figured out how to use them to achieve independence. And dignity.
So I was feeling kind of overwhelmed.
Back Where It All Began took care of that. I am feeling damn good. I will give today the best shot I can and be content to come home to a simple dinner and quiet night with my amazing wife.
Soulshine played just before BWIAB. Another one of my emotion releasing ABB songs. I still had my hands in hot water and dish washing soap at the time, so there was little I could do but sing along.
And you know I did.

"When you can't find the light that got you through a cloudy day
When the stars ain't shining bright, you feel like you lost your way
When those candle lights of home, burn so very far away
Now you got to let your soul shine, just like my daddy used to say

He used to say soulshine
It's better than sunshine
It's better than moonshine
Damn sure better than rain

Yeah now people don't mind
We all get this way sometime
Got to let your soul shine
Shine 'till the break of day"

That's it, baby. Right there. You have to find a way to allow your pure essence to burn through. It is your life force and if it gets snuffed out you become a robot.
Through the disappointment, the boring, low paying dead end job, the responsibility, the boundaries and limitations that make your life so small; you GOT to expose your soul, let it breathe, renew your faith in yourself, feel good and hope.
That's why I feel so good right now. I allowed myself to be me for a few minutes. Absolutely pure, unfiltered, natural, raw; not self conscious or self critical - I did what my body, my mind and my soul told me to do in that moment.
Whenever I do that, I like what I see. I like what I feel.
This gives me the inspiration to keep on keeping on. I got something to offer and I don't want to shortchange the world.
Or myself.
It's Monday, and Mondays suck. It is an indisputable fact of life.
I hope you can find something to shake you out of the role you are being forced to play. I hope you can dig yourself in purity for even a few moments today.
It will be the spark to get you through the week.

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