Dumplings, Baby

Ma Shunli is a master dumpling maker.

I bet you didn't know that. I didn't either until I got into dumpling week on NPR.

Dumplings are a big deal in China and Ma supervises dumpling creation in a restaurant called Defachang in Xi'an city.

The restaurant serves up to 318 varieties of dumplings, which is a world record.

I'm thinking the same guys who track baseball stats probably rent themselves out as master statisticians to track things like greatest variety of dumplings. These guys have to be the biggest nerds in the world, probably math wizards who cannot get enough of calculatin'.

The same guys who know that Dustin Pedroia is hitting .673 on Tuesday day makeup games when the temperature is 73 degrees, after eating a cheesesteak omelet with Swiss cheese, not cheddar, for breakfast, following exactly 7 hours and 45 minutes of quality sleep preceded by the ritualistic viewing of Major League before bedtime and reciting like a mantra on his knees beside the bed, alternately, hats for bats, up yours Jobu, I feel like a banker, and how's your wife and my kids, these same guys are perfectly content to count dumplings in China.

I want to be a master dumpling chef. I believe it was John Lennon who sang "A master dumpling chef is something to be."

What the hell is a dumpling anyway? I mean I have a pretty good idea but not a specific one.

I looked it up and came across the following definitions.

"A small mass of leavened dough cooked by boiling or steaming."

"A small savory ball of dough (usually made with suet) that may be boiled, fried or baked in a casserole."

"A usually baked dessert of fruit wrapped in dough."

"Something soft and rounded like a dumpling; especially: a short fat person or animal."

NPR gathered some experts to define precisely what a dumpling is. Apparently there is controversy about whether something like tamales can be considered dumplings.

There world of haute cuisine is fraught with contradictions and confusions.

Which reminds me of a line from an Allman Brothers song called "Get On With Your Life" - "each day brings a new confusion." A simple yet elegant definition of life.

But that is a story for another place and time.

Fuchsia Dunlop, Chinese food expert and author:"......any kind of dainty little snack that's made of one ingredient wrapped around another ingredient, and usually boiled or steamed, but sometimes fried."  Way to make a commitment, Fuchsia.

Ken Albala, professor of history at the College of The Pacific:"The best way to probably define it is to say something that goes "dump!" into the water. Something that's boiled and keeps its shape." Ken obviously experimented a tad too much with LSD in his college days.

Frederick Douglass Opie, professor of history and foodways at Babson College:"A dumpling is a mass of dough about the size of a U.S. fifty cent coin or larger. Cornmeal dumplings are solid and used to soak up the flavor of whatever they are cooked in - most often soups and broths. Flour dumplings are generally larger and filled with vegetables, fruit, dairy, or meat. Dumplings most likely originated in the kitchens of peasants and proletarians as a savvy, cost-saving filler." I have uncovered the closet baseball statistician in the group.

Dumplings seem cool to me. I like any kind of food that leaves a wide berth for creativity. You should see what I put in my omelets.

The fact that  master dumpling maker is spelled in lower case puts me off from pursuing this craft as a career. If I am going to put effort into my new career I want the status that goes with the achievement. Joe - Master Dumpling Maker.

Then again, the Chinese are notoriously humble in their wisdom and intelligence, so maybe there is a lesson to be learned in lower case.

I don't know. I know nothing. I am a guy who considers a Royale with cheese a gourmet meal when I am hungover.

Anyway, NPR devoted an entire week to dumplings. I think that's cool. Absolutely majestic.

I don't think dumplings are a staple in Dustin Pedroia's diet, but I'm not sure.

I'll have Freddy look into it.