Saturday, August 3, 2013

Pants, Trousers, Slacks

I wear pants.

Period.

That's what I call them, that's what I wear.

If you wear trousers, you were born to a wealthy family. Every man in your family wore trousers. They called them trousers and taught you to call them trousers.

You called them trousers in school and did not get beat up because you went to an exclusive private school where everybody else wore trousers.

If you wear slacks, you have made your own money. You think you are your own man. Or you are living off credit cards and pretending to be well off. Driving a Hummer and making the payments by eating peanut butter.

You are a snob.

You memorize wine facts from Wine Enthusiast magazine and try to impress people with your knowledge of the difference between Tempranillo and Garancha grapes.

You go home and drink Zhenka.

You wear slacks.

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