Cat On A Screened In Porch

On beautiful days when I leave late for work I have to summon my cats in from the screened in porch. Actually I have to trick them. If they are both out there, I shake their bag of treats, they come running, I throw a few on the floor and quickly walk to the sliders and close them.
If only one of them is out there, I can usually saunter out and gently pick whoever it is up and carry her into the house. Against a backdrop of protesting meowing.
Either way I hate doing it. They live for that porch because they are indoor cats and that is their taste of the wild world of nature. They suffer through winter as I do because it's too cold out there; they don't like it. So they are bored and they sleep 27 hours a day.
When it is warm, they are on the porch and stimulated. Birds, chipmunks, squirrels, cats, dogs, gentle breezes, wind, rain; whatever comes across the yard keeps them engaged. It's good for them. They are alive and alert.
Whenever I am forced to disturb that, it disturbs me. I wish I did not have that much control over their contentment or the lack thereof. Complete control.
It would be cool if I had only partial control. Like if they could say "Hold up, big boy, we are supremely content today and we are not coming in. Go back inside, clean the kitty litter box, refresh our water and leave us alone." Then I would have to call work and say 'Rich? It's Joe. Can't make it in today. The cats want to stay on the porch and I have to keep an eye on them." Of course his response would be "No problem Joe. I understand completely. See you tomorrow."
This would only work if the cats were reasonable. Like sometimes they say"Yeah we are pretty content out here, but we know you are not as smart as us and have been unable to arrange your life so you can sleep on the porch whenever you want to. So we'll come in today. Just pick us up a treat on the way home from work."
That would work.
If they were stubborn and stood their ground every time, I would be in a lot of trouble.
These are the things I think about.