In Bono's "fan letter" to Nick Cave he says - "there is no end to grief, that's how we know there is no end to love."
This is the kind of thinking my mind is absorbing right now. Haven't quite made the adjustment to actually thinking this way, but when I do I will be a better man.
Nick Cave's son Arthur died at the age of 15. He staggered over the edge of a cliff after taking LSD.
When I am sad or angry or grieving or unhappy, that is where it ends. I wallow in it. My mind is comfortable going to dark corners and encouraging despair. But thinking can turn that around, or at least take the edge off.
Thinking is pretty cool. Who knew?
You feel grief because you feel love. You don't grieve someone you don't care about. It's all about that maddening cycle of life and death, happiness and despair.
I have experienced so much death in my life, so many members of my family have died, many of them prematurely. More than my fair share? Feels like it but I suppose everybody feels that way.
My grandmother's death made a huge impression on me because of how hurt and lost my grandfather was. It was probably my first taste of grief and it has stayed with me.
I worshipped my grandfather. He is the man I am named after. Giuseppe Testa. He came to this country from Italy - alone. He worked, saved up money and eventually brought his family over. Despite the hardship of his life, he had an amazing sense of humor. He made me laugh, he was so easy to love.
He sat in that funeral home and cried and kept repeating his wife's name - Christina. It broke my heart to experience his grief.
Quick Left Turn - In the same letter Bono references the concept of an interventionist god. I have not done my homework, but I am guessing some people believe god is actively involved in your life and will respond to your prayers. Others believe he set everything in motion and then sits back in his luxury box and watches.
I am 90% of the way down the road to atheism, but the interventionist vs non-interventionist discussion would be a fascinating one to have. Again, this is the kind of stuff my brain wants to engage in, rather than debating the positive effects on society of bestiality.
Another Left Turn - Bono mentions the grieving brought on by the unnecessary deaths caused by Covid-19. But he says there is another kind of death going on - the death of our innocence. "The death of the naivety that whispers everything is going to be OK."
I am so on board with that. I am OK with positive thinking but blind optimism turns my stomach.
I have prostate cancer. I feel pretty positive I will make it through; the docs feel that as well. But I could die from it. So I will never tell you I am not worried about it; I will say I have a pretty good shot at survival and I am doing whatever I can to tip the scales in my favor.
Ironically, just last night I said to Carol that everything seems to be going our way lately (except for potentially fatal diseases) and that it feels like something magical and mystical is going on.
Blind optimism? Maybe.
But man cannot live on reality alone.
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