Perspective (Arc of Life)

When I got out of the GPS prostate session yesterday I was feeling emotional.

I had an errand to do which took me right by Concord High School, which is located very close to the hospital.

School was getting out. Youth was in evidence all around me - on the sidewalk, in the cars. Energy, laughter.

It was like a sledgehammer to the face. The scene went right to my heart and my soul.

Next year will be my 50th high school reunion. Fiftieth.

I was not thinking about prostate cancer in 1972.

The contrast of me preparing for radiation therapy at the age of 67, versus the hope and naivete embodied in these young humans, just floored me. Mixed my emotions up in a nuclear powered blender.

These kids have no idea what life has in store for them. They think they do, but they don't. But they do have their whole lives ahead of them to do with as they wish.

That is a powerful reality.

I was there once. 

In my head it does not feel like that big a distance between me and them. My mind does not accept my age. Mentally, I feel youthful. The truth is that light years separate my reality from theirs.

And I have cancer.

I am struggling with this whole deal. I go back and forth. But, for the most part, I come down on the side of being positive, fighting as hard as I can, and making the most of the time I have left - whether it is 2 years or 20 years.

There was a time when I was where those kids are now. Now I am here.

It was like seeing the entire arc of a life in one brief moment.