Fatness.
Weight gain is kicking my ass. Let me tell you people, hormone therapy is a motherfucker.
The problem is that the side effects of hormone therapy are relentless and I am not.
You know the story - in the beginning I was winning this war. I lost 10 pounds when the doc kept telling me I was about to become blimpo.
At that point in time I was relentless. I exercised every day I didn't have to work. And on work days I would do the stairs. I would climb up and down flights of stairs at work - 3 or 4 times a day, two or three flights at a time.
I went on a semi-low carb diet and was fairly religious about it.
Merriam-Webster defines relentless this way: Showing or promising no abatement of severity, intensity, strength or pace.
And there lies the rub. You cannot fucking lighten up because every potato chip you eat during hormone therapy adds 5 pounds.
For months now I have been exercising sporadically at home. I have stopped doing the stairs at work. I eat 32 donuts a day.
I gained back the 10 pounds and more.
I feel like a big, fat, disgusting caricature of a human being.
Because I am a big, fat, disgusting caricature of a human being. I feel gross and uncomfortable.
I have not thrown in the towel. I proved to myself that I can win this war - I did lose 10 pounds way back in the way back. I did it once, I can do it again.
December is the springboard. I will summon up all my willpower and get fucking serious again. It is vitally important that I roll into 2022 with momentum.
For motivation I got the word relentless tattooed across my stomach. There was plenty of room for it.
My goal is to make it illegible.
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