What Is Life

 "What I feel, I can't say, but my love is there for you anytime of day"

"Tell me, what is my life without your love? Tell me, who am I without you by my side?"

Those are the words I heard at 6:30 yesterday morning. Lyrics from "What Is Life", by George Harrison. And they resonated perfectly with what I have been feeling, given the turn my life is about to take.

I am dedicating 2022 to Carol.

She has stood by my side for coming up on 43 years. They say you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself. I also believe you can't make someone happy if you yourself are not happy.

I have not been happy much at all in my life. And Carol has had to deal with that. Which she has, remarkably enough.

She should have dumped me 25 years ago for a more stable individual with a successful career. But she didn't.

I owe her.

I am poised to be happy in 2022. I want to use that happiness as a weapon to make Carol happy.

I feel like Scrooge felt on Christmas morning after being visited by the three spirits of Christmas.

"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach."

He said this so powerfully, so emotionally, that it was obvious that it came from the heart. That he had learned his lesson.

I have learned my lesson.

First of all life is too short to be unhappy. More importantly, life is too short to make someone else unhappy.

I am going to concentrate on being grateful, on being positive - I am going to focus on being happy and making the most of it.

I am going to try really hard to make Carol happy. It's going to be a priority for me. She is a naturally happy person anyway. If I can contribute to that, intensify her happiness - that will be an amazing accomplishment.

What is life? It's a goddamn mystery, is what it is.

The only sure thing about life is that if you have someone to love, it is a hell of a lot more enjoyable.

I have that.

I have Carol.