My Birthday

My birthday has suddenly become very important to me this time around.

Lightening short-circuited my brain as I was reading this morning.

I am reading a book titled "THE BLUES - Why It Still Hurts So Good". Written by Marie B. Trout, PhD.

Marie wrote the book as a study completed for her PhD dissertation about the role of blues to modern fans.

Marie is also the wife of and long-term manager for Walter Trout. Walter Trout is a blues guitar God. I saw him a couple of years ago at a very funky place called The Flying Monkey. He blew my face off. I required reconstructive surgery following the show.

The book is very much a textbook. Tough sledding in parts because of its academic nature. However I have had many "Holy Shit" moments too - so I keep on reading.

The book resonates with my soul and allows me to be exactly who I am, opening me up to unbidded meaningful vibes. So this morning the birthday realization popped into my brain while sipping coffee.

2022 is going to be a big year for me. Possibly the year I have hungered for, for decades. My birthday is always a big deal because of the timing and because of who I am.

I cannot sit on my ass on January 1 and celebrate my birthday passively. Gotta go out.

Not sure what that will be or who it will include, but its gotta be special. Dinner, maybe - music. Not sure yet. Gotta let the intensity of this realization subside a bit before I make a decision.

Does not have to be BIG. It just has to be. I need to celebrate the end of my 68th year on Planet Earth. It's important. I need to kick off 2022 with a dose of Me-ness. Make a statement. Intermingle my personal vibe with the vibe of the new year and negotiate a new direction for myself.

2021 has been an interesting year for me. First off I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. That was exciting.

Then you got fucking Covid, the inability to be with my family, the continuing mind-fuck of the job.

But I also worked on myself. Tinkered with my brain and continue to do so. Tinkered with my body; a bit of a roller coaster but the discipline is back.

My love for Carol grew deeper as I finally opened up my mind to accept her for the amazing and fascinating person that she is. This brought more happiness to me, a commodity I cherish (previously in short supply).

Lost Maka, a very precious cat. Broke my heart. Brought Emmmy Lou and Patsy into our home, two very precious cats who have exponentially intensified the love and sensitivity in our life.

I began to understand the power of gratitude.

I intensified doubt in my mind as to the kind of father I am, and had it blown away by a beautiful text Keith sent me.

Experienced Craig buying his first home and getting engaged to Amanda.

I re-connected with my cousin Mary Ann after decades of neglecting my family. Feels so right.

Got me a new job looming on the horizon. January 3. How perfect is that?

It has been a very good year.

January 1, 2022 will be a day to celebrate the triumphs of 2021, and to set the table for the future triumphs of 2022.

Gonna be a good day.