The Cat's Out of The Bag

I gave my notice at work yesterday.

The cat's out of the bag. And a load has been lifted from my shoulders. A crushing weight.

My last day of work will be December 30, 2021. I am working regular hours next week, taking Christmas week off, working 2 days the last week of the year.

I am going back to the Capitol Center for The Arts. First day - January 3, 2022.

I have gained some perspective over the last 2 years. I left CCA a burned out man. At the time, though - I was working both jobs - CCA, City of Concord. Until Covid hit. I got furloughed from the city job in April of 2020; from CCA in May of 2020. When the call-backs came I chose not to return to CCA.

My perspective has shifted. 

Both jobs are customer services gigs, which means there is a lot of annoying bullshit associated with each. Diffference is at CCA I am surrounded by music and theatre. I used to have great conversations with customers about music. I got to meet musicians. I had free access to any show I wanted to attend - for both me and Carol. When I worked a show, the box office closed 1/2 hour after the show started. And I could grab a beer and head into the theatre.

I took very little advantage of any of these perks.

I now realize that since I have to work, I have to find some happiness in doing it. The city job was killing me because it is so not me. There was no fun in it at all and it dripped acid on my soul.

I am going to proactively appreciate the creative atmosphere of CCA and take advantage of those things that give me life.

Let's talk about 2022.

I will be starting the new year with a new job. That is huge. HUGE. It is without a doubt the most important thing I could have accomplished as I close out my 68th year of life.

I am halfway through hormone therapy. By the end of the year I will be done.

I am back to exercising and dieting in the hopes that I can lose at least 1/2 pound by 12/31. It's all about establishing momentum.

We are making progress on the house, finally, and hope is high that we can dump it on some unsuspecting rube early in 2022. Move and begin a new phase of our life. A hopeful and happy phase.

I continue to chip away at my calcified brain with hammer and chisel. I am making progress. Diseased fragments fall to the ground as I walk.

I am experiencing the soul-nourishing power of gratitude more frequently. This morning I sat in a dark house on a rainy December morning in silence - and felt so grateful for Carol, the new job, the book, the coffee and the cats. I was at peace.

One major piece of the pie that still eludes me is a therapist. The one I have been waiting on has not come through. So I am going to double-down on my efforts for the rest of this month. Scoring a therapist heading into 2022 would be HUGE.

I feel very good and very hopeful about 2022. An odd and foreign feeling for me for sure. 

But a damn good one.