The Way It Tastes

I am perched upon the precipice.

My life will change dramatically in 2022.

The key to seeing it through to fruition -  fruition being the Dramatic Rebirth of The Joe - is tapping the full potential of my mind. In other words, the most important aspect of where I am is what I do with these changes.

In reality I have spent a lifetime unbirthing myself. Someone named Joe was born on January 1, 1954. He was a complete and unique individual. But as he went through life he folded up little by little, bit by bit, in reaction to stimulus and events he perceived as negative. Building walls, crouching behind them, cloaking his true personality, and building one that would be easily palatable to others.

I have had opportunities for change many times in my life. I blew it every time by only changing my circumstance and not myself. If Palatable Joe remains, I lose. Change becomes superficial.

My eyes are wide open this time. I know exactly where I am, I understand the significance of where I am, especially at this stage of my life. I know exactly who I am and who I want to be.

I need to reinvent myself. I don't think rebirth will be enough. The irony of course is that reinventing myself actually means just becoming myself. I have drifted far off course to the point where those in the know laud me as a Shakespearean actor of great depth and nuance.

Playing the lifelong role of Palatable Joe.

The truth is, any role played lifelong results in staleness and suffocation, if it is not true to character.

I have not been true to character.

The harsh and challenging reality is that I cannot accept this change passively. Not this time. I gotta go after it aggressively.  

Change in 2022 looms large. A new job, a new home, a new me - the real me. I have been wiping the sludge off my facade, chipping away at the walls - I have caught glimpses of myself. I have felt my essence. It was startling and pleasing.

I like the way it tastes.