I Finally Broke Through

But not in a good way.

Barbecuing a few days ago, threw the meat on the grill, realized I forgot the cooking utensils, went back in the house to grab them, walked towards the grill on the porch......................and my right leg broke through the floor. I fell right up to my hip.

Just like that. No creaking, no warning. One minute I was walking, the next I was on the floor with my leg dangling underneath the porch. Thank god all the boards around it weren't rotted or I could have fallen all the way through. I did not get cut, but I have a mega-bruise on the right side of my thigh and a more sedate bruise on the left.

I had a barbecue fork and a regular fork in my hand that I held on to - no fucking time to drop them. Amazing I did not impale myself.

Carol was out there and was stunned - she could not see that I had broken through the floor because my fat body was blocking the view - she was panicking, thinking I had collapsed. Asking me what could she do, what could she do. I couldn't answer her because I was stunned, breathing hard and struggling to get up.

I felt so bad for her because I couldn't say anything. Finally I dragged myself up and out of the hole. When she saw the hole she couldn't believe it. Of course the cats were there immediately to check it out.

Took me a bit to regain my composure. More than a bit. Strange event.

We have a wine crate covering the opening right now so the cats can't make like Steve McQueen in The Great Escape.

We had sausages that night.

They were delicious.