Just finished a book called Too Much To Dream. About a guy who nurtured a yearning to experience a deeper spirituality and got caught up in the whole drugs/alcohol experience and wound up as an addict. Got through it all and continues his quest in a milder way using music, art and literature as his drugs.
We humans need to understand a bigger awareness. I think the desire is there in all of us whether we know it or not and whether we have the guts to admit it or not. You can go right to The Big Mystery - DEATH. We all want to know if there is an afterlife, a god, reincarnation, SOMETHING out there to believe in after this short dance on earth is over. That's pretty basic but I think the need goes way beyond that.
Life pretty quickly beats you down, imposes a routine on you and you adopt an outlook that allows you to cope. I believe that outlook prevents you from seeing life as it really is or, more importantly, what lies beneath, under, around and through life.
I believe there is more to life than we perceive. An alternate awareness, a vibe,a magic to life that we completely miss because we are all running at top speed to stay one step ahead of the Mortgage Vampire, who would gladly suck our blood in lieu of sucking our money.
LSD gave the author a glimpse. I have read this one million and one times. I believe it. A drug so powerful that it can completely re-arrange the way you perceive the world has got to be the key to something. The problem is that you get a taste of this true-ness, and you want more. You want to get at the truth of life, you crave the peace that would come from understanding our existence purely. Hence addiction. You chase it and try other drugs and drug combos and booze but you never get there. Suddenly you are sitting in a one room cold water flat with one banana on the counter and you realize you haven't showered in 19 days.
I will probably never try LSD. But mushrooms make sense to me. They are of the earth. So many indigenous cultures use natural hallucinogens as part of religious rituals that you just cannot ignore it. And these are not people who are getting supra stoned on Friday night so they can blow off steam and maybe snag a little nookie. These people are much smarter than us, they are natural, they are one with nature and they approach these rituals with respect and intelligence.
I was fascinated with the author's post-addiction exploration of the arts as a way to achieve other-ness. Music inflates my soul until I cannot ignore it. Makes me realize I am alive and much more than a fool chasing a paycheck. Art makes me cry. Literature is my religion. These things may very well hold the key to life in its purest form. Creative people are ultra sensitive and the relationship between creativity and altered mind states is well documented. Makes perfect sense. So when you partake of art you are experiencing the work of a mind that most likely has been expanded, a mind that started out a little further down the road than yours or mine in the first place. A MIND THAT SEES THINGS DIFFERENTLY.
The author describes our brains, our thought patterns as being wrapped in cotton. I know that feeling intimately. Making my way through the day requires me to be a robot. When I write I feel much more alive because the words rise up from my soul.
Thanks to this book I now have a bunch of authors, artists and musicians to check out who are involved in mind expansion without the use of drugs. Gotta find a way to add ten more years to my life.
I know that truth is much different than what we call reality. Our lives are limited intellectually and numbed through necessity. It is frustrating to me to know that my life is a poor imitation of what it could be. I feel like the real thing is out there and if I explore enough I will glimpse it. One theory says that seekers only ever get a glimpse because we humans are not equipped to handle full on truth. But if that glimpse results in you changing your life, your outlook, your approach in a positive way then it is good enough.
I hunger to expand my awareness, to really experience life vitally. To obliterate hangups and strip away the cotton that envelopes my brain.
I want a glimpse.
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