Monday, May 14, 2012

The Greatest Opening Paragraph In The History Of Journalism

"At least bank of America got it's name right. The ultimate Too Big to Fail bank really is America, a hypergluttonous ward of the state whose limitless fraud and criminal conspiracies we'll all be paying for until the end of time. Did you hear about the plot to rig global interest rates? The $137 million fine for bilking needy schools and cities? The ingenious plan to suck multiple fees out of the unemployment checks of jobless workers? Take your eyes off them for 10 seconds and guaranteed, they'll be into some shit again: This bank is like the world's worst-behaved teenager, taking your car and running over kittens and fire hydrants on the way to Vegas for the weekend, maxing out your credit cards in the three days you spend at your aunt's funeral. They're out of control, yet they'll never do time or go out of business because the government remains creepily committed to their survival, like overindulgent parents who refuse to believe their 40-year-old-live-at-home son could possibly be responsible for those dead hookers in the backyard."

Matt Taibbi for Rolling Stone. An article titled - Too Crooked To Fail

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