I'll Have Another

Did you dig The Preakness?
I did. With extreme prejudice.
It tasted like chocolate.
I am not a horse racing aficionado. I watch the big ones like I am supposed to, then I don't think about it for another year. But a voice inside of me tells me that I could get into horse racing. Especially if I had money.
Good thing I work for the New Hampshire State Liquor Commission.
I dig the spectacle. So much attention, so much hype, so much adrenaline focused on a two minute sprint. It condenses a maximum amount of excitement into a short time span. There is no room for boredom there. That's what draws me to football, it's what draws me to hockey.
And there are cool hats.
Of course if I was hooked, I would be going to local tracks and everything would be much smaller, but I can see me rooting insanely for a horse that I just laid down my mortgage payment on. Losing, spending a month calming Carol down, and then running back to the track with the next mortgage payment. That is infinitely more exciting than buying cardboard flavored Breakfast Happy-O's to live within my budget.
And speaking of cereal, do we really need Dulce De Leche Cheerios? Designer cereal? Designer cereal with a name most people cannot pronounce? Dulce De Leche is a thick caramel sauce popular in Latin America found in many pastries and sweets. That sounds delicious. It also sounds like a flavor that cannot be duplicated in Cheerios. Even with chemicals.
What the hell is next? Tiramisu flavored Fruit Loops?
Anyway I missed the Derby but I caught the Preakness and now I am swept up in Triple Crown fever. Why not? Gives you something to talk about, something to look forward to, something to spice up your life. A reason to call in sick on the day of the Belmont Stakes.
These animals are majestic. Beautiful. Spiritual. They project power and they project cool. If humans had the same essence as race horses, nobody would mess with anybody else and planet earth would be a garden of Eden.
And running out for a gallon of milk would take on a whole new meaning.
Carol picked up on the difference in the way Bodemeister's jockey talked about his horse versus the way I'll Have Another's jockey talked about his. Bodemeister's jockey talked about what he would do, how he would handle the horse. I'll Have Another's jockey talked about his horse reverently, said that the horse does all the work and he is just along for the ride, talked about how he had to respond to what the horse was doing.
This is key. I think the jockey/racehorse relationship is spiritual, and the jockey who gets that will get more out of his horse.
I don't dig the riding crop though. I'd rather see the jockey use Twizzlers to coax more out of the beast. Maybe when the sport evolves a little more, those jockeys who are  enlightened could use imaginary riding crops to inspire their steeds.
I'll Have Another was purchased for $35,000, which is cheap for a racehorse. He
blasted into coolness immediately, beating 43-1 odds to win his first race after the purchase. Two months later he won the Santa Anita Derby, went on to win the Kentucky Derby and then the Preakness.
How cool is that? Even after beating Bodemeister from 100 yards back in the Derby, all you heard about was Bodemeister in the Preakness. Until I'll Have Another beat him again, this time from 30 yards back. He's the Rodney Dangerfield of racehorses.
J. Paul Reddam owns I'll Have Another. He claims the origin of the name is in honor of his wife's cookies, saying that when she asks if he wants one more cookie he always responds I'll have another.
That sounds like a typical watered down story designed to protect the delicate American public from the evils of the world.
I prefer to believe that Reddam is a two fisted power drinker who can down two bottles of whiskey a day and who will say from the floor at the end of the night "I'll have another. And make it three fingers."
I'll be digging Belmont. Psyched to cheer I'll Have Another on to the first Triple Crown since 1978. Heart pumping, adrenaline flowing, focused on that race and nothing else. Living in the now for a few minutes, baby. Sweet release.
Think I'll fix myself up a Mint Julep, since I missed the Derby.
And in celebration, chow a bowl of Tiramisu flavored Fruit Loops.
That's living, baby.