Monday, November 5, 2012

I Am A Greek God

I am a Greek God.
At least as far as imperfection goes.

I was reading up on Greek gods for fun and profit and was amused at the way they are described. Apparently the Greeks had no problem giving their gods human traits.

The Olympians are a group of twelve gods so named because they lived on Mount Olympus. They overthrew the Titans, who were led by Cronus who came to power by castrating his father Uranus. The ultimate sign of family love.

Zeus became the supreme ruler of the Olympians after overthrowing his father Cronus. Like father, like son. Zeus is married to Hera but is famous for his many affairs. However he is known to punish those who lie or break oaths. Apparently they had not defined hypocrisy at that time.
Hera is not only Zeus's wife, she is his sister. I think Sly and the Family Stone wrote a song about that.
Zeus originally courted her unsuccessfully so he changed himself into a disheveled cuckoo. Hera felt sorry for the bird and held it to her breast to warm it. Zeus then resumed his normal form and raped her. She of course then married him.

Ares is the son of Zeus and Hera. He was disliked by both parents. He is the god of war, is considered murderous and bloodstained, but also a coward. If Zeus and Hera were loving parents, maybe John Lennon would never have had to write Imagine.

Apollo is the only one who makes sense to me. He is the god of music. He is also the god of healing who taught man medicine, the god of light and the god of truth. I think that all fits together.

Hephaestus is another son of Zeus and Hera. He is the only god to be physically ugly. He is also lame and there are two different stories explaining this. One says that Hera was so upset at having an ugly child that she flung him from Mount Olympus into the sea, breaking his legs. Another version says that Hephaestus took Hera's side in an argument with Zeus so Zeus flung him off Mount Olympus.
I kept expecting to read about a Greek God named Dr. Phil.

Hades is my favorite. He is the brother of Zeus and was made lord of the underworld, ruling over the dead. He is also the god of wealth. I dig that connection. He is described as unpitying and terrible, but not capricious. Capricious means impulsive or unpredictable. So apparently the Greeks were OK with Hades being cruel as long as he was reliable.

Hermes is the son of Zeus and Maia, apparently one of Zeus's babes on the side. Hermes is the fastest of the gods wearing winged sandals, a winged hat and carrying a magic wand. Sounds like Liberace in Nikes. He is the god of thieves AND the god of commerce. There must be a statue of this guy on Wall Street. He was versatile too because he invented the lyre, the pipes, the musical scale, astronomy, weights and measures, boxing, gymnastics and the care of olive trees. How the hell the care of olive trees got in there is beyond me.

I wanted to wrap this up in scintillating fashion but my brain became covered in fog. I started thinking about insanity and came up with a couple of gods to fit the bill.

Lyssa was the Athenian goddess of rage, fury, raging madness, frenzy, and in animals, the madness of rabies.
Dionysus was the god of the grape harvest, wine making and wine and of ritual madness and ecstasy.

Either one of these gods could thrive quite comfortably in my diseased brain, but coincidentally I have often used Dionysus as a pen name in certain situations. I always associated him with partying, but now that I know he is also connected with ritual madness I like him even more.

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