Sunday, November 18, 2012

Shot Gun Thoughts

Where the hell have I been?

Christ, I hate it when I don't write. I really need to write every day to avoid fading out like Marty Mc Fly.
I got slammed with a cold on Friday, I was disgusting all the wonderful liquor store customers all day with sneezing and sniffing. Felt good to annoy them. So when I got home I put the whiskey and the beer right to the cold and took care of business.

No way I was going to write.

Last night I was tired from the cold and from work AND from food shopping. Holy Christ I made a note to myself to never shop again on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. Market Basket is typically crowded because of their wonderfully democratic prices. But yesterday there had to be half a million people in the store. A couple of times I had to climb up on a shelf, once in the cereal aisle and once in the pasta aisle, just to be able to breathe. Gave me an interesting perspective on Thanksgiving ants doing Thanksgiving shopping.

So I didn't write last night either, but last night I was just being wimpy. I could have written a word or two. I allowed myself to snuggle down in the recliner and get lazed out by the cat, the TV, supper and a general lack of ambition.

As I fought my way through Market Basket I watched all the worker bees doing exactly what I do in The Booze Emporium, only to the power of ten. These people deal with more people in one day than I see in a month.

Young girl at the register I went through. Mindlessly scanning trillions of items, glazed look in her eyes, mumbling the same things repeatedly customer after customer. Stretching, yawning, rubbing her eyes when she could. When I shuffled up I noticed her holding one hand against her chest and that hand was trembling. Visibly, vigorously, shaking. A co -worker asked her if she was all right; she said she was hot.

I think there was a lot more to it than that.

So many people work dehumanizing, mind numbing jobs in this country. I despise this reality. It is not what life is meant to be.

NEW TOPIC: Driving The Peace Mobile down my road on the way to work yesterday when I had to hit the breaks forcefully to allow four turkeys to cross the road. They appeared to have a sense of urgency about them. I hope everything works out all right.

NEW TOPIC: Popped into Dunkin Donuts for a civilized coffee as I continued my journey to dead end job. A bunch of boys walked out in front of me. Brimming with testosterone. It was 7:15 a.m. and they were slapping each other, running, talking animatedly, just giving off an impenetrable cloud of energy.
I wondered what happens to testosterone. Does it mature and provide silent wisdom or does it just fade away.

NEW TOPIC: Taking A Walk by John Prine. I have talked about this song a few times before in these pages; I worship the song. A line hit me differently yesterday. In the chorus he says, quietly, "I'm just getting by." He says it matter of factly, wrapped in the peaceful vision of simply taking a walk. No bitterness, no anger. Got me wondering if there is a way for me to accept our current financial hardship in a way that does not involve poison. Maybe there is a way to just let it seep into your cells where your mind can quietly work out a solution.

NEW TOPIC:

"So I'm up here in the north woods
Just staring at a lake
Wondering just exactly how much
They think a man can take
I eat fish to pass the time away
'Neath this blue Canadian moon
This old world has made me crazy
Crazy as a loon
Lord, this world will make you crazy
Crazy as a loon"

Life observation, lyrics and music provided by John Prine in the song -  Crazy As A Loon.

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