Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Jersey Devil

Mother Leeds got pregnant for the 13th time in 1735. Her husband was a drunkard who was useless in taking care of her and the other twelve so this time around she raised her hands to the heavens and said "Let this one be a devil."

A few months later, minutes after birth, the baby began to change and metamorphosed into the most hideous creature the world had ever seen. It grew at an incredible rate, sprouted horns, talon-like claws, leathery bat-like wings, and hair and feathers sprouted all over its body.

It savagely attacked and killed its mother and tore the midwives limb from limb, maiming some and killing others. It then crashed through the door to the next room and attacked its father and siblings, killing as many as it could. It then sprinted to the chimney and flew up it, destroying it and leaving a pile of rubble in its wake. It escaped into the darkness and desolation of the Pine Barrens, where it has lived ever since.

That's a heartwarming story if I ever heard one. The Jersey Devil. It is New Jerseys oldest, most enduring piece of folklore. NJ's hockey team was named after him. How cool is that.

I don't know why we humans need these stories but I'm glad we have them. I could get all philosophical and assume that we have to put a face and a name to the horror of everyday life. Or maybe create a horror that is worse than every day life. Whatever it is I dig it.

Sightings of this loving offspring continue to this very day. There is an organization devoted to documenting sightings, the website is described as The Official Researchers of The Jersey Devil.

This I can dig. Sasquatch I cannot. Sasquatch looks like a lot of guys I have worked with. The Jersey Devil is one scary looking dude.

We need our monsters, we need our dark, we need fear to feed on. I am currently all wrapped up in American Horror Story. I believe this is the second season. The first season was bizarre but became more unbelievable as it went along.

This year it is set in an insane asylum in the early sixties and I am gobbling it right up. Because it is believable, given the truthful horror stories I have read about how the insane were treated in those days. It has the loonies, which is fantastic. Strange, twisted, broken down humans who are poisoned on the inside and fearful looking on the outside. Even more frightening are the nuts who look normal on the outside but are sickly twisted on the inside.

Like a lot of people you work with.

There are straight jackets, and beds with restraints and electroshock therapy and needles with nameless medications in them. Darkness, tight hallways, mean spirited orderlies.

Delicious.

Still I am OK with The Jersey Devil even though it is bizarre and hard to swallow because it is so frightening.

The Exorcist. When I got home from seeing that movie in a theater I lay awake in bed for a long time that night. Fabulous movie. It had the atmosphere, the dark feel of horror, the mind fright necessary to tremble your soul.

We all have our own definition of horror, specific things that turn our stomachs. Some people don't want to indulge at all, don't like horror movies. I don't understand them and condemn them to hell.

The prospect of being buried alive whisks up all the bile in my system. Which might explain my current state of unease. A mountain of debt and no sunshine. No bridge of paychecks to walk across towards the light.

I find the prospect of going to work tomorrow equally as frightening.

I am sitting here as dusk turns to night, the lamp on the desk is turned on and I start to see my reflection in the window. I like this time of night. I like even better the dark.

I wish some monster would suddenly crash its face against my window and scare the defiance out of me. Just so I could confirm that there really is pure evil out there. Pure, unadulterated evil. I want to know that monsters exist, real monsters that rip rib cages open and feast on hearts.

But that's just me. Maybe you prefer The Sound Of Music.

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sick and twisted...my mother had be tested! Steve

    ReplyDelete