Another Weekend

Today I am a pinata stuffed with words. And this keyboard is the bat that will beat those words out of me.

Went away for the weekend. The annual trip.

This is the only vacation Carol and I take. It's not really a vacation, it's a getaway. Hit the road Friday morning, return home Sunday afternoon. Early. Before Game #1 of THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS new season.

We need to make our lives larger. We need to get away more. Work sucks the spirit out of you and if you don't escape it enough it will dry you up like a goddamn prune.

Old Orchard Beach in Maine. That's where we go. Same destination, same core group of people for the last six or seven years.

We tried to figure out how many years we have been doing this but none of us are good at math.

The trip is short but always magnificent and we hit it right. Friday was cool and windy but gloriously sunny. Saturday was toasty warm and gloriously sunny. Sunday got cloudy but who the hell cares - it's time to hit the road, jack.

Its laid back, we relax, we talk, we laugh, we eat, we walk, we people watch, we sit on the beach a lot. It truly re-charges the soul.

The ocean, man. You cannot beat the sound of ocean waves caressing the sand. Reminding you that there is a scope of life that is huge and stretches much farther back than the puny six decades you have been on this earth.

It reminds you that millions of souls have stood before that ocean in tears, in smiles, in peace, searching for some release from their troubled minds.

I had a moment on Saturday morning. Awake at 7:00, out on the deck by 7:15, iPod in hand.

However the iPod was dead. I was stunned. Last year I sat with Leonard Cohen in my ears and tears in my eyes as I worshipped sun and sea. I planned on recapturing the emotion, only this time with John Prine.

I was calm. I put the iPod back in the room and walked barefoot down to the beach.

I went one on one with the sun.

Up on the porch the sun was angled to my left, slanting across the ocean. For some reason I was obsessed with meeting the sun head on so I walked aways down the beach until he and I were face to face.

It meant something to me. I have been through a meat grinder over the last six months and I will return to it tomorrow. I needed light, heat, power and inspiration.

A plane flew overhead directly towards the sun and I found that prophetic. I need prophetic. I am scrambling to make a life as time flows faster miles an hour.

I was that plane.

I settled in to looking around. Absorbing.

Couples walking the beach. You always see couples walking the beach. Are they in love or are they doing what they feel they have to do? The beach walking obligation.

Maybe they are rejuvenating their love. That's what I prefer to think.

I saw a teenager walking alone and wondered what was going through his head. Are my thoughts any more profound than his because I am 59? He has his whole life ahead of him, I have only what is left.

Because he was alone and free from peer pressure, I am sure his thoughts were pure. And honest.

I wish him luck.

Kids asking dads questions. Heard a little one ask his dad why the sand castle people did not build them bigger. Dad said they didn't have enough time.

Dads have to have answers and they always come through. Up to a certain point, up to a certain age.

The only questions my kids ask me now are like: "Dad, didn't you say you were going to the bathroom? Why are you heading for the screened in porch?"

People and their pets. Lots of dog walkers.

Dogs are so happy on the beach. They prance. People carrying little dogs content to nestle in their owners' arms.

I am into the relationships. Saw an older gentleman on Saturday and Sunday. His hair was pure white and perfectly matched his little dog's hair.

The guy was walking slowly and the dog even slower. The guy would stop every once in a while and look back to allow the dog to catch up.

I bet they are close friends. I see them snuggled down together during the cold winter, the guy with book in hand and brandy by his side, the dog content at his feet.

That is a beautiful piece of life.

And the little ones. Little kids running with wild abandon into the water, rolling in the sand, absolutely free in this wild expanse of land and water.

They know something about life that we have forgotten.

It's the same every time we go, it's different every time we go.

And it brings Carol and I great peace.

We need to work at expanding our life together. I don't think it is healthy for a whole year's release to revolve around 45 hours, and only that. We got there at noon on Friday, we left at 9:00 a.m. on Sunday.

Tiny progress was noted this year because it was the first year we could actually afford the getaway. My torturous job has made our life 1/2 of 1% easier.

I guess that's a start.

Me and the sun had a serious talk. He challenged me, I asked for inspiration and strength. I'll see where that leads.

In the meantime appreciation goes out to Paula & Bill, Paul & Debbie, Lorraine, Sarge and Cori, Kevin and Tonya, and John for helping to make Carol and I feel at peace and loved and safe and happy for a little while.

The weekend was worth everything in the world to us.