Sunday, September 15, 2013

The Big Ride

The Big Ride is so big:

1) I had to buy binoculars to see the back seat. I chose Leica Silverline 10X42 at a cost of $1,899. It seemed only fitting.

2) It has no rear view mirror. It comes equipped with a spotter who sits in the back seat and keeps me updated on traffic movement. His name is Slugger and he doesn't eat much. I throw an occasional pint of Canadian Hunter his way from time to time.

3) When I sing, it echoes.

4) It has a Sopranos trunk. I can fit three bodies in there comfortably. I have already written down  the names of prospective occupants.

5) The music system is not powerful enough. I have to hire bands to travel with me. Got The Stones lined up for the Monday commute.

6) It can contain my ego, which has swelled with this magnificent purchase.

Actually Number 6 is the only lie. There is no ego involved. For a guy who hates this whole "being grateful" fad, I feel humbly grateful to be driving this car. It feels like some sort of reward for a lifetime of sacrifice.

I traded my truck  in for this beast. The truck was a 1997 Dodge Dakota Pickup with an 8 foot bed.

The 8 foot bed was a hilarious accoutrement. I am not a truck guy. I did not even need the standard 6 foot bed that comes with this truck. It had an 8 foot bed so I drove an 8 foot bed.

It was great for dump runs though I was never able to fill it up.

Fittingly enough I had to call AAA the day of the trade-in because the truck wouldn't start. It had been giving me trouble for months. In fact we had poured a lot of money into the truck in 2013 and the latest problems were the last straw.

But in the last three months or so, just starting that baby was an adventure. Sometimes it would click like a tiny machine gun, maybe two, three, or four attempts, and then turn over.

The next step was to get it to the point where it wouldn't stall when I took my foot off the gas.

This involved trickery. I had to turn the air conditioner on to trick the engine into thinking it was time to raise the idle. But it didn't happen quickly. I had to sit for minutes gently feathering the gas pedal until I could take my foot off the gas. I sat there looking at the tach as I gently released pressure from the accelerator.

Sometimes I would lose it to stall and have to start all over again.

Eventually I would coax it to performance level and the truck would get me to where I needed to go.

On the fateful Tuesday night after work, the Dakota would not start. Called AAA and after extended attempts, the dude got it running. I drove home with my foot perpetually on the gas, which was amusing because I was forced into  two unscheduled stops. Once for two deer to cross the road, once for a bunch of turkeys to do the same.

I took this as ethereal encouragement.

I sat there with one foot on the gas, one on the brake, as nature mocked my anxiety. But I did smile. Twice.

We went away for a long weekend and on Monday visited the greatest used car people in the world - Phillips Auto Sales in Chichester, NH, where I fell in love with The Big Ride. Rented a car that same day and arranged to pick up the Lincoln on Wednesday.

The Dakota would not start on Wednesday morning. Had to call AAA. The dude got it started and I took my last ride in front of an 8 foot bed.

I talked to the truck a lot. Patted it on the dashboard repeatedly. Thanked it for taking good care of me, which it did for three and a half years. Thanked it for bailing me out of a tough situation created when I totalled my Sunfire at a time when we could barely afford a loaf of bread.

I have not been in this situation in decades, that of trading in a car, and it was surprisingly emotional. Even during the tough times this year the Dakota kept coming through.

Right up until the last day when, after a AAA nudge, it got me to my new ride.

I pulled into the lot and left it running so the Phillips clan would not have to deal with a jump start.

A little while later I pulled out of the lot in The Big Ride.

Life is so strange, so unpredictable at times.

Even though I am not a truck guy, I will miss my 1997 Dodge Dakota pickup with the 8 foot bed.

We made a lot of memories together.

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