Just Another Day In Paradise

Pretty down tonight.

Why not?

I watched my beloved Lincoln getting towed out of my driveway.

After one week. One goddamn week.

I debated whether to write about it or not. Lots of fools sitting out there waiting to pounce - "See what happens when you get extravagant? You should have bought a Smart car, you idiot."

You can all screw yourself. I stand behind my decision. I stand behind Phillips Auto Sales.

Driving home from hell - The Asylum - 10 minutes from home - and the hot rod Lincoln starts bouncing like a trampoline. I am not kidding. The rear end was bouncing up and down like a four year old kid celebrating the approach of The Ice Cream truck.

By the way, if you want to see a cool ice cream truck man and an interesting story that revolves in part around an ice cream truck - watch Trees Lounge. Steve Buscemi. That's all I'm gonna say.

Have I ever steered you wrong?

Cars were backing off behind me. Must have looked like the rear wheels were gonna fall off.

Air suspension failed.

I'll keep you posted.

My dark mood compels me to consider the decomposition of cadavers.

The first thing you need to know is that putrefaction is the proliferation of microorganisms within the body following death and also encompasses the breakdown of tissues brought upon by the growth of bacteria. You will notice discolorations of the body varying between green, blue, red or black.

This is known as marbling.

Proliferation of bacteria throughout the body is accompanied with the production of considerable amounts of gases due to their capacities of fermentation. As gases accumulate within the bodily cavities the body appears to swell as it enters the bloat stage of decomposition.

Gastro-intestinal bacteria are also capable of migrating from the gut to any other region of the body by using the lymphatic system and blood vessels.

And you are wondering how long it takes for a body to decompose.

If a body is buried in a coffin deep in the ground, it could take a s long as fifty years for all of the tissue to disappear. But if it is exposed to the elements, it will decay very quickly. And, as a bonus, animals and insects will feed on the tissue if a body is exposed, quickening the process.

The immediate aftermath of death is fascinating. Stiffening of the muscles - rigor mortis - sets in after about 3 hours. And by the time 24 hours have passed, the body will have lost all of it's internal heat.

Kind of like me during the interminable 10 month long New England winter.

The muscles will begin to lose rigor mortis after about 36 hours, and the stiffness will be completely gone after 72 hours.

So there's a kind of symmetry to the whole thing.

Anyway, there you go. A brief synopsis of how fragile and vulnerable the human body is at death.

Thought that might cheer you up.

I look forward to tomorrow at The Asylum with the moron crew.

I look forward to Sunday and missing my first ever PATRIOTS game because of work.

I look forward to picking up my hot rod Lincoln and driving the goddamn thing like I stole it from now on.

At least I am looking forward.

What the hell are you doing?