But He's Retired So..................

If one more person talks to me about a relative or friend that's retired, I'm going to smash myself in the face with a shovel.

A younger fellow I work with asked me what's up with the crutches. I explained the situation, leaning heavily on my frustration with the fact that I am still in pain after 22 fucking days, and that I feel I am not recovering as quickly as I was led to believe.

He told me his father had the same surgery and had the same experience as me. His father was pissed off as well. I asked how long his Dad was in pain and he told me a month. He said he was on crutches for two weeks and then spent another two weeks resting that sucker up. And then he uttered the words that one of these days will result in my own customized and - no doubt -  fatal myocardial infarction:

"But he's retired, so he pretty much laid around the house for two weeks."

If anybody says or does anything tonight at work that causes me to get up off of my chair when I am resting my knee, I will take a Rafael Devers-like swing with a crutch, decapitate them, and decorate my face with their blood.