I am currently vibrating at the speed of Confusion.
Been taking a close look at myself and setting down painful truths for all to see. Obviously, there is work to be done.
Cliche has it that it is a good first step to be honest with yourself about yourself. Potentially cathartic.
I feel no catharsis. The words are fine, and it is noble to trumpet one's shortcomings to the heavens, but the ultimate release comes from the "doing."
Hence my current discomfort. I am squirming like an indicted murder suspect caught in a lie on the stand.
I must begin the "do." Feels overwhelming at this stage, I mean, how the hell do you atone for a lifetime of failure and underachivement with the sword of Damocles hanging over your head?
I'm talking about you, Grim Reaper.
Compartmentalize. The concept fascinates me. Tom Brady is renowned for that ability and look where it got him.
I have the day off today. I am thinking about tomorrow, when I will be working until 11:00 pm. I am not compartmentalizing.
My survival, and hope of success/peace of mind, are reliant on my ability to learn to compartmentalize.
So there you go. Step One.
413 steps to follow.
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