What Is A Swiatek?

While I was watching the French Open I became intimately acquainted with Iga Swiatek.

She is ranked #1 in the world by the Women's Tennis Association, and is the youngest player ranked in the top ten. She's 21. When I was 21 I still couldn't tie my shoelaces.

She just won her opening round match at Wimbledon, extending her winning streak to 36. She has won 36 consecutive matches, giving her the longest unbeaten streak since Venus Williams set the record at 35 in 2000.

She has won the French Open twice, reached the semi-finals in the Australian Open this year, reached the first round at Wimbledon in 2019, and the second round at the US Open in 2019.

She is a fucking God.

I think I have run across her in the past, but I was probably numb with shock at the time as I considered options for escape from my paltry life. I was wide awake during the French Open and disgusted with myself for not knowing much of anything about her.

I know a lot about her now. Talk about dominating a sport. Impressive.

I will be following her through Wimbledon. Her, and my man, Rafael Nadal, who is currently playing Francisco Cerundolo in the first round and who won the first set 6-4, and is up in the second 4-2.

Please do something for me - please deposit $300,000 to my account, so I can pay off my fucking Eternal Mortgage and have a little left over for Arby's, and so I can buy tickets to the US Open.

Hint: The Open begins on August 29 - you have time to accumulate the necessary cash.

P.S. - I still can't tie my shoelaces. I am 68.