Monday, September 24, 2012

Digging Down A Little Deeper

I am famous for worrying about our cats.
I hate to leave them alone.
People always tell me cats are OK, you can leave them alone, they can handle it.
When we go to Old Orchard Beach, gone for two nights, I have to arrange for someone to visit the cats, give them cool water, and fresh food.
More importantly, to visit with them.
I could never leave them alone for two days without at least one visit from a gracious family member or friend.
Even at that, I still think about them continuously while we are away because if we are gone from Friday morning until Sunday noon, factoring in a one hour visit from a gentle cat sitter, they are still alone for 49 hours.
I know they have food, water and a clean kitty litter box and they are physically OK.
But I know they have emotions. Our entire relationship is emotional. Love and laughter and conversation and spiritual fulfillment.
I don't know if they get worried after a while, if they wonder where we are and will we be back. I don't know if their minds work that way.
But I do know that they miss our company, that they miss the love and attention and interaction and I have to believe that bothers them.
I never want to cause them emotional stress. They don't deserve it. They are spiritual, loving beings and their lives and happiness is intimately interrelated with that of mine and Carol's.
Yeah they are self sufficient, but they require love, and that's what I mean about digging down a little deeper.
That's where my anxiety comes from.
That being said, my feelings are not practical. Sometimes we just have to leave the cats. I even hate leaving them alone when I go to work.
This blurb is designed to try to explain to those who try to comfort me why I agonize over leaving Maka and Lakota home alone.
What can I tell you.
I am who I am.

P.S. - You want to talk about Karma? Maka just jumped up into mylap.

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