Had A Conversation

Had a conversation yesterday.
When you stand at a cash register in a liquor store for hours on end you have mini conversations.
Actually they are not even conversations, they are really exchanges. 99% of them are boring, 99% of them are repetitive.
They say the same things, you say the same things.
You encounter cynicism (a lot), braggadocio, feeble attempts at humor, condescension, and unbelievably transparent shows of pseudo confidence.
You also develop liquor store acquaintances. People who come in on a regular basis, develop a comfort level with you and seek you out at the register.
As was the case when I tended bar at the legion, my best and favorite chats are with older people. Because they look at the rest of us with amusement. They don't have to fake it anymore. They are up front and honest.
I crave honest conversation. It is almost impossible to come by.
Sometimes you get meaningfulness and honesty from the not-elderly.
That's a gas.
A guy has been coming in and we have connected as much as you can on a liquor store level. He has a southern drawl, appears to be mid thirties, early forties, and comes across as amazingly laid back.
He and his wife recently had their second kid. Southern man brought him in last week for the first time, in the car seat carry all.
Put the car seat up on the counter, I talked to him, looked into those innocent eyes and held out my finger for him to hold onto. And he did. He grabbed that sucker with authority.
I was impressed.
Yesterday we continued our conversation about parenthood.
I told him I have a thirty two year old son and a twenty eight year old son and that time has blown by so fast.
He said since his wife and he have come at parenthood later in life, they are super aware of how quickly it all goes by, so they make a conscious effort to stay aware of the beauty and the magic of having kids.
I told him how I would give anything - ANYTHING - to have one more day when my sons were three and six, so I could pick them both up in my arms and kiss their cheeks and dig the purity of their kid laugh and their kid love.
I told him my favorite picture in the world was taken at my brothers wedding. I was the best man and my sons were in the wedding as well. We all wore tuxes.
The picture is of me holding both my sons in my arms, all of us looking quite goddamn debonair.
Southern man had tears in his eyes.
Do you understand what I am saying?
We were standing in a liquor store, a consumer and a clerk, connecting on so deep a level that he had tears in his eyes.
He said to me "Man, you brought tears to my eyes."
I told him that I was an accountant for over twenty years and that I despised every minute of it. But when I got home, the briefcase and the bullshit got dropped, and I played and laughed with my sons. I came alive and I LIVED.
He works in a local hospital evaluating people with psychological problems. He said that every day he sees damaged people who were mistreated by their parents in a way that screwed them up for life. Or kids who are screwed up right now because their parents abuse or mistreat them and have no love to give.
Before he had kids he said it tore him up and he had a real hard time handling it.
Now his kids are his sanctuary. He goes home and lets their magic wash over him and his love wash over them.
I played the wise philosopher, a role which I am eminently not qualified to play. But I told him that even today when I am with my sons, we laugh and have great conversation and they bring peace to my tormented soul.
He said he could dig that, could look forward to it.
He said he enjoyed our conversation and walked out.
That is what I live for. Honesty and emotion.
This all took place in the space of five minutes or less.
A deep, meaningful connection in a place where people go to buy a product they use to kill their pain, to hide from life.
Blew my mind, baby.