Friday Night Musings

Tired. Really tired.
Five days into another six day stretch at Lompoc.
Twice turning around late at night to motor in EARLY A.M. to do more meaningless stuff.
For absolutely no reason.
I think things ease up next week. Think I have a couple of days off during the week.
Might work on my mind with that time. Might try to bring it back in line.
Maybe get physical again. I have been woefully lazy about exercising for the last month.
If I skip one day I gain ten pounds.
Had to skill saw door openings two feet wider to get in and out this week.
I think there could be a message there.
When I exercise regularly I feel so much better. Lose weight, which soothes my mind and I am physically invincible.
When I fall off schedule I get logy and hugely fat. Had to rig up a winch system to get me out of the recliner.
Although there is a caveat. Feel better when I exercise but I am still exhausted every minute of every day.
I don't sleep. Whatever the classic definition of sleep is, I don't experience it. I definitely do not experience REM sleep.
Are you kidding me?
I wake up ten times a night, minimum.
I sleep on my side.
Up until the age of thirty six I slept on my belly. And relished it. Slept beautifully. One hand under the pillow. Face to the side, belly down.
At the age of thirty six I hurt my back. Was doing curls in the solarium. Tired, wanted one more curl, leaned back to make it easier and I literally heard a crunch.
Stopped dead with the weights in my hand wondering what to do.
Tried another curl - no pain - did a couple more. Macho stupidity. I knew I had hurt myself but I pushed it.
The next day I was an invalid. But the biceps looked good.
Since then I have been unable to sleep on my stomach or my back. I sleep on my side. I wake up because my shoulder starts to hurt. I roll to the other shoulder and sleep until that shoulder starts to hurt.
This happens over and over again every night.
I am eternally exhausted.
We want to buy one of those new fangled high tech mattresses but we don't have $23,000 handy right now.
Just the facts, ma'am, just the facts.
Friday night. Friday night doesn't mean anything to me because I am Retail Ricky. Working tomorrow. Late, again.
I'm pretty sure this will all work out.
I listen to NPR. How can it not all work out?
I listen to NPR to engage my brain on my way to work even when I don't give a damn what they are talking about.
I tune out when they discuss foreign affairs because I cannot keep track of all the players and all the religions and all the ideologies and all the nasty little disputes.
Today they were talking about how Russia is having a hard time keeping young, college educated professionals in the country. They see opportunity elsewhere and go. Feel Russia is repressive.
One guy was talking about the people who leave and classified one group as "academic superstars".
Wouldn't it be cool if we actually had academic superstars instead of the Kardashians?
If people in this country worshipped intelligence over vapidity?
Imagine if Rhodes scholars were mobbed in the streets, hounded by autograph seekers and paparazzi?
I thought it was a cool concept.
One that will never come to fruition.
Anyway we are going to laze around the house on this Friday night. I'll barbecue something and we will eat it.
I'm looking forward to Sunday. THE PATS. Racing.
No work. No bullsh**.
Just the cats, my incredible wife and my twisted mind.
Should be a good day.