To Forget About Life For A While

Strange morning.
Woke up at 6:00 which was not a big deal since I went to bed tired at 9:30 last night.
I must have been tired to go to bed before Bill Maher.
Brewed up divine instant coffee and sat down with a book. It hit me that this was the first time this week I sat down with a book.
Very telling.
I read every morning that I have a chance. Reading is my religion. I have said it before. I will take a cup of coffee and a good book over whiskey, rock 'n roll, football and pecan pie.
It's what I live for.
As peace settled my nerves I realized how unsettled my nerves have been this week.
I'm sure it is a result of the stark contrast of the beautiful weekend we enjoyed last weekend versus the improbable insanity of a meaningless six day work week.
Typically the work schedule is somewhat balanced between early nights and late nights so you can actually live a life. Sometimes the full timers get selfish and plug in the part timers to suit their own needs. That's when it gets stupid. Like the last two weeks of consistent late nights.
Anyway it is a weird morning. Hot and cold, dry and wet, a restless breeze, a seriously unsettled weather reality. Mayhaps my instability is directly affecting the weather.
Stranger things have happened.
I read to forget about life for a while. That's also why I drink whiskey. But reading doesn't make me fat or kill ambition or swell my liver.
Of course escape is only a part of it. Actually a small part of it. I worship words. I am a word worshipper.
I don't read passively. I relish the words, how they are put together, how the story is told. If the book tends towards the intellectual I savor the words themselves.
I am a word snob. Prescient, surfeit, surcease; these are words that thrill me.
The peace I just experienced woke me up to the fact that I have just wasted a week. Apparently I have been distracted, obsessed, compelled, inspired, detoured or just plain lost.
"It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday, as the manager gives me a smile, 'cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see, to forget about life for a while." Billy Joel. Piano Man.
I won't belabor the point because I have belabored it a thousand times before. It fascinates me how many people spend so much of their life trying to forget about life for a while.
It is a sad commentary on the human condition.
And what I continue to fight against.
Just trying to scratch myself to a place where I can exult in my life.
This morning was an oasis of peace. Lakota curled up in my lap for a while as I read. She loves it when I rub under her chin. At one point she raised her head and I rubbed. She closed her eyes in complete contentment, which I really dig. I was looking at her closed eyes feeling good about what we were doing for each other and she suddenly opened her eyes. And looked directly into my eyes. For seconds.
She brought me back in line. Along with the book and the coffee and the weird weather and the breeze and Maka out on the porch and Carol sleeping peacefully upstairs.
Been a silly week. I will drag myself through another eight hours of retail hell today and dig tonight and tomorrow significantly.
What else you gonna do?