Here's Why

I have begun to watch Dexter.

96 episodes aired between 2006 and 2013. I have watched 5. Got a lot more gruesomeness to enjoy.

Dexter fills a dark hole in my psyche. A very, dark hole. 

I was lost after I wrapped up Billions and Succession. I like to have a show I can watch up here on my laptop. A show that is for my brain and my brain only. I tried this, I tried that - nothing gave me the satisfaction I require.

I have dabbled in Dexter over the years. Watched an episode here, an episode there, found it very tasty. Consistency has not been my strong point. But lately I am into consistency - committing to a show and watching the shit out of it.

Dexter has gruesome violence, dark stories, evil - it satisfies all the important food groups. But Dexter the character is the icing on the cake. He is a very strange guy. Not plugged into being a human being at all. He doesn't feel or understand the things other people feel. He looks upon these "normal" aspects of being a human being as if they are strange occurrences to be studied under a microscope.

He struggles with emotion. He doesn't understand love, or pain or commitment. He is coldly detached. And not because he is an asshole; he just doesn't have it in him. These things are not part of his psychological make-up.

I love the man.

I recently explored my fascination with revenge movies, where a good or somewhat good guy beats the shit out of and kills someone who has wronged him. I still feel that is my psyche watching the shit get kicked out of me.

But Dexter goes further than that. Dexter appeals to the part of me that loves sickness, disease of the soul, gruesome violence. I don't think this is me projecting my own deserved punishment. This is just me lusting after the sickest, cruelest thing I can find. I like to cringe.

Dexter is not really about revenge, it is all about payback. But not payback for wrongs done to him. He is killing people - quite gruesomely and torturously (especially psychologically) - that deserve to die because of the evil things they have done.

Dexter is more valuable to society than any CEO or politician.

We need more Dexters.

Preferably to deal with CEO's and politicians.