Something I Fucking Hate About Myself

I am a straight shooter when I deal with customers at my job at The Capitol Center for the Arts in Concord of New Hampshire.

This is why people like me. No bullshit, a sense of humor and I am knowledgable.

I work with a guy who is Disingenuously Optimistic. He tries too hard. I don't like that about him, but I do like him as a human being. He's a gentle guy.

If I walked into work on Monday and announced: "I have Stage 4 Entire Body Cancer and I am going to die in 15 minutes", he would cheerily say "At least you got 10 good minutes in you."

Too much, man.

If I connect with people I am fun. If I sense any condescension or attitude, I am cold and I don't fucking hide it. That's life baby.

But there's one thing that I do that is entirely ridiculous.

I enjoy swearing. Many people will say swearing is immature, but fuck them - swearing adds punch to communication.

I am dealing with a customer, we are getting along, I'll slip a cuss word into the conversation - then I'll raise my hand to my mouth and go "Oops, sorry." Like I am embarrassed. Which I decidedly am not.

I feel like Caspar Milquetoast when I do it. It is SO disingenuous. Christ, man - if I came face to face with Jesus Christ and he asked me "Why do you say Jesus Fucking Christ all the time?", I would say "Because you're a fuckup."

I do it because I am an actor. I am paid to be an actor. But I know the customer is not buying it.

This is called affectation.