Movement is Improvement

Carol had breast cancer and endured a mastectomy.

She had a tumor removed from her brain. I had skin hacked off my body because of skin cancer. 41 sessions of radiation to beat prostate cancer. Now I got a new knee because the original fucking failed.

This is what life does. It beats the living shit out of you. It does not give up until you succumb.

We are 70 years old. What else must we endure? More.

What do we have?

Keith and Craig. Two sons so strong and so accomplished. Better men than me. Amanda and Krista - the women they love. Strong, unique, smart, intelligent and fun. Jackson Joseph Testa. Our grandson, almost 5 months old. The most precious life on earth.

I could expand the circle, because we are lucky to have lots of loving family and great friends, but I gotta keep this under control.

The point is - Carol and I have been through a lot. The knee is one more thing. But I have to come out of this in a different way than all the rest. With the other shit I just went back to the same old same old. Not an option this time. This is why I am making a big deal about this.

It's an opportunity.

I am a weak individual in body and mind. Especially mind. But I have to be strong to get through this, and I am doing it. No matter how tired I am, what kind of pain is going on, how down I am feeling, I do the fucking exercises. I do them. And I push myself.

This discipline is building character. I can feel it.

I am learning shit about myself that is changing my opinion of myself.

Knee replacement people say "movement is improvement". I am creating movement of my body and, more importantly, movement of my mind. Changing my perspective. Strengthening my conviction to live the way I want to live.

I want my family to see the real me.