USC Trojan Marching Band

False alarm - I cannot walk without a cane.

I tried it but ending up slamming my good leg into the ground, creating an imbalance. The new outpatient PT said "Uh, uh - no go Joe - use the damn cane!" She was right.

Trouble is the new knee is still super stiff so I am resistant to bending it. Does me no good to walk stiff legged with the cane. PT person said that would retard my recovery/progress. So at her suggestion I walk with an exagerrated motion lifting the knee high as I walk.

Like the USC Trojan Marching Band. They look good. I do not.

I look ridiculous..................but it works. The motion keeps the knee moving, beating flexibility into it's muscle memory.

I live in a 55+ community. We are all tightly situated. And the elderly have little to occupy their lives. Live entertainment is expensive and most shows start at 8 o'clock, not end at 8 o'clock.

Word has gotten 'round how comical I look marching around my house. The neighbors are excited. Every afternoon they gather on the small deck right outside our sliders, with popcorn and soda, booze and pot, to cheer me on.

I don't mind. They are nice people. And I am a natural born ham.

I wear a special outfit - red satin shorts with stars and stripes suspenders. Cut off t-shirt to highlight my massive guns. With George Carlin's face on it.

I put on a show. Sometimes I strut like a stripper and get many admiring glances, especially from the over 70 floozies. Sometimes I pretend to stumble before miraculously saving myself (this always results in audible gasps). They clap, they cheer - "Go Joe Go!"

I put a tip jar on the deck - I'm not working, you know. Unfortunately the tips I get tend to be snickadoodle cookies, discarded gum, and empty beer cans.

Although I did get a note one day.

"Joe - you're a hottie! How about a kiss? Meet me tomorrow under the banyon tree at the intersection of Lilac Lane and Great Brook Road."

Hoochie mama!

I did not go.

Aggressive women make me nervous.