Fall?

I am uneasy. Enormously uneasy.
I always feel that way at this time of year. Summer is almost dead and I am about to be plunged into ten months of cruel New England winter. And even though this time of year signifies death for me, I am motivated to run faster. It's that whole "Fall" thing. Cooler, crisper days, an urge to do, to make something happen.
I want to go on record as saying that one winter, sometime in the last ten or so, I tried to embrace winter. I honestly gave it a try.
I had a desk job then. Joe The Accountant. Dutiful good boy enduring corporate condescension on a daily basis for the privilege of earning a semi-reasonable paycheck.
On breaks I would go outside and take a walk and deeply breathe in the cold. At lunch I would take rides, leaving my window down a crack to let in the crisp air.
It didn't work. My body, my soul and my mind screamed "What the hell are you doing? We are freezing. This is not natural. Move to Arizona immediately."
But I digress.
I am more uneasy than usual this year.
I feel like a soul must feel upon leaving the host body and looking for a new home.
Vibes of change have intensified on all fronts but there is nothing concrete to hang onto. I feel like I am treading water and believe me, I cannot afford to tread water.
I am looking for my very own deus ex machina. Deus ex machina is an approach used in the literary world to resolve seemingly unresolvable conflicts. As you are wondering how the story is going to end, an artificial or improbable device or event is introduced into the story which resolves all conflicts.
I am squirming along like an inchworm. Bring on my very own deus ex machina.
I need it NOW.
I am uneasy. More so than usual. So much so that I am uncomfortable in my own skin. Distracted and wondering.
Goddamn New England seasons.