ALONE TIME

Carol just left to do a shitload of errands.

She'll probably be gone for three hours.

I am jubilant. Because human beings need alone time more than food, more than oxygen, more than fucking reality tv.

I never get alone time. That's right. Never.

Carol gets guaranteed alone time for 8 hours on Monday, 5 hours on Wednesdays, and 5 hours on Fridays. In addition, Fridays typically stretch out to 8 hours and I occasionally work on Saturdays - minimum 4 hours of alone time.

So at a minimum, Carol is guaranteed 18 hours of alone time every week. Eighteen. Guaranteed. And that can expand to 25 in the right circumstances.

If I had 18 hours of alone time every week I would amass a fortune greater than Bernard Arnault, who recently jumped ahead of that fucking idiot Musk as the richest man in the world.

The flip side of course is that Carol is retired. So whenever I am here, she is here.

I am frozen in indecision right now. What should I do?

Drink a bottle of whiskey, or exercise. Watch a movie or write. Read a book or research a lucrative career move. Drive a nail into my skull? (I'd rather hurl myself against a wall than feel nothing at all - Warren Zevon).

Smoke hashish? 

How do I maximize time efficiency to derive the most benefit for my beleagured brain?

Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am frozen in place.

Soon we will be living in a mobile home. 

Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How will we survive that? I may even be retired.

I'll let you know when we move.

So you can amuse yourself by keeping daily watch on the obituaries.