Siddartha Gautama (Buddha) arrived at the conclusion that suffering is caused by the behavior patterns of one's own mind.
He believed that no matter what the mind experiences, it always reacts with craving, and craving always involves dissatisfaction. In other words, when the mind experiences something nasty, it craves to be rid of it. When the mind experiences something pleasant, it craves that the pleasure will remain and intensify. Therefore, the mind is always dissatisfied and restless. If we feel pain, we are not content. If we feel happiness, we are not content.
This makes perfect sense to me. My mind is my enemy. It never leaves me alone. Most of the time I am sad, so the discontent is self-evident. But when I am happy I am really sad-happy, so my mind is never at peace.
It burns and burns and burns.
Buddha teaches that you can meditate yourself to a place where you experience reality as it is, without craving. If you feel sad, and your mind recognize sadness as something that just is without craving that the sadness go away, then there is no suffering. If you feel happy without craving that the happiness linger and intensify, there is no suffering.
Can I train my mind to think in this way? Talk about climbing Mt. Everest naked. Holy shit.
I go to bed. My mind begins its torture. "Shit, I picked up bread, cold cuts and half and half, but I forgot to pick up fucking after shave. I gotta work tomorrow. Should I swing by the store on my way in or my way home? While I'm there, should I pick up an onion for my sandwiches, or should I leave that to Carol when she goes food shopping in four days? If I do pick up an onion, should I get one or two? How can I make a million dollars in 2023?"
And it's four a.m.
I have dabbled in Buddhism off and on. Read about it, checked out the philosophy. I feel that if I can get comfortable with it, I will experience much less self-induced suffering. It feels like the perfect antidote to the eternal abuse my mind metes out 24/7. It fascinates me.
In 2023 I will learn more about Buddhism.
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