It's Bad For Ya

I dialed up "It's Bad For Ya" last Saturday shortly before lumbering out of the recliner to prepare for a night out with those two loony toons - Jason and Karen.

"It's Bad For Ya" was George Carlin's 19th and final comedy album and his 14th and final HBO stand up comedy special. It was televised live on March 1, 2008 on HBO, less than four months before he died of heart failure at the age of 71.

First of all I want to point out that the first words out of Carlin's mouth that night were something along the lines of "Before I get started, I just want to say Fuck Lance Armstrong." He went on for a minute or two beating up on Armstrong and then he said "and while I'm at it, Fuck Tiger Woods too. And Fuck Dr. Phil."

Please note - this special aired well before Armstrong giving up on fighting doping charges and a year before Woods' sex scandal.

Carlin was attacking them when they were still popular and doing it on the premise that he was sick of being told who to idolize.

Probably my favorite thing about George Carlin. The enormous size of his balls. The fact that he was his own man and a guy who could think creatively and cut through the bullshit. He was not afraid to point out our passive pension for eating what we are fed instead of thinking on our own.

I saw in his eyes the same thing I see in Bill Maher's eyes. When the audience laughs along with his point of view, he was thinking and Maher is thinking "I'm talking about a lot of you."

Instead of wallowing in the applause, they look out at the audience in subtle challenge.

I have to tie everything in to me, as you know. When that special aired I remember thinking that Carlin looked old. In the previous special he was George Carlin. In this special he was old George Carlin.

He was 70. By the way, he does an excellent bit about being old in this special.

Saturday even as I worshipped his mind and his words, I got to thinking about where I am at. I am young at heart and often taken to be much younger than I am.

What I am going through right now feels like it is aging me. Stress, constant pain and lack of sleep are not major ingredients in the recipe for eternal youth.

I used to do light weight work to keep my arms solid. I can't right now and my arms have shrunk; they are flabby. I am losing weight and my face is getting thinner. I feel weak, I feel tired, I feel vulnerable.

This does not please me.

In a way I have always thought it would be interesting when I lost the pretty boy thing and turned into an ugly, old troll. I was OK with it happening naturally. I am uncomfortable with the process being accelerated.

If it happens, if I come out of this looking ten years older, I'll have to adopt Carlin's point of view.

How you can get out of anything by pretending to be tired. How you never have to lift anything heavy anymore because everybody wants to help you. How you can forget anything - even important things - without embarrassment because people expect you to.

Typical Carlin: "Today was my daughter's funeral? I forgot."

Loved the man.

It hit me hard in 2008 and even harder last Saturday to see such a vigorous, ballsy, vibrant, intelligent guy suddenly appear old. You would think a guy with that much spunk and guts and intelligence and life in him could defeat the aging process. Despite all the cocaine abuse and heart attacks.

If he aged that quickly, what is in store for me? Passive liver of my own life.

One more thing for me to consider right now. One more reason for me to fight as hard as I can to get through this physical bullshit and change my life and my me.