Thursday, January 16, 2014

No Break For Bonzo

Just got back from an appointment with Chiro Man.

It was my intention to go all dramatic with you and tell you how I am done for a while, that I am staying away from pokers and probers. That I am taking a break. Catching my breath.

For two months my entire life has revolved around medical appointments. Doctor visits, follow up visits, the chiropractor, physical therapy, X-rays, blood tests and the infamous failed MRI.

I have filled out so many goddamn forms and signed so many agreements, been handed so much information about high blood pressure, pinched nerve issues, physical therapy approaches, chiropractic practices that my head is spinning.

I am sick of it. Tired to the bone. I want to be left alone.

I have put 10 million extra miles on The Big Ride driving to places I don't want to be.

The true irony being that driving is the most uncomfortable thing I can do.

However, Chiro Man invited me back tomorrow. He is not normally open on Fridays, but he is behind this week because he just got back from a fun filled week in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, skiing his ass off.

I am happy to go back. I think he is going to help me.

He jack hammered my neck and spine today. It doesn't relieve the pain but it frees up my neck so I can turn my head almost as well as a normal human being.

THEN they applied the magic machine to my neck and shoulder. Electric muscle stimulation.

I hurt my back in 1990. When the medical community failed me again, I went to a chiropractor and as part of the treatment he applied these suction cup babies to my lower back.

Whenever he would turn the machine off, I would beg for more time. It felt that good. I became an electric muscle stimulation junkie.

Chiro man is using it on my neck and shoulder. I am quite pleased.

I went easy on him today but tomorrow, when he shuts that machine off, I will wrestle him to the ground and dial it up myself.

I am locked into a 3 month treatment plan.

Looks like I will not be stepping off this merry go round for a while.

If I get results I will become joy filled.

If not, I will kill someone.

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