This Is Why...................

Anybody who watches a lot of football, especially if you dial up the NFL Network regularly, has seen the clip.

Bill Parcells, coaching the Giants, along the sidelines trying to pump up his team at a critical moment.

And he yells: "This is why you lift all them weights."

I love it. Perfect. Perfect football motivation. No bullshit, no phoniness, just a direct comment that hits home with guys who spend all week long preparing for one game.

The comparison of preparation to actual game time is the most out of whack in football. These guys spend enormous amounts of time studying, practicing and reviewing.

And lifting weights.

All for the chance to spend 3 hours of game time and a lot less than that of playing time on Sunday.

Motivation is big in the NFL and most of it is hilarious.

Coaches' speeches after a game are pathetic. They should never be televised because it makes these guys look like toddlers delivering a postgraduate dissertation at The University of Oxford.

"We won this game because we played hard nosed football. And when you play hard nosed football you win. Most of the time. Except those times when you lose. When you play hard nosed and you lose, well, nobody really understands that. Maybe that's when you turn to Jesus. If you believe in Jesus. (The players are starting to look around the room and the coach is spitting as he talks). If you don't believe in Jesus, maybe you turn to booze or drugs. Or hookers. And that's not good. So maybe you shouldn't do that. Maybe you should pretend to believe in Jesus. So, OK, Jesus on three. 1-2-3 JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

When you get the team huddled up just before they take the filed and one guy cranking them up, it is even better. Jumping up and down, banging helmets, punching arms.

"Who are we? Jaguars! What we gonna do? Win! What if we don't win? That would suck! Do we like to suck? Only on a McDonald's shake! Do you see a McDonald's shake out here? No! Then we gotta win. Right? Right! OK - No McDonald's shake on 3. 1-2-3 NO MCDONALD"S SHAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know how other coaches do it on the sidelines. I suspect Belichick is the same as Parcells. I'm sure he makes direct comments that the players can connect with and use for motivation.

I bet a lot of coaches, though, whip up phony shit that means nothing to these guys. That leaves them scratching their, um,................heads.

You don't make it to the NFL because of your oratorical skills. Stick to what you know.

That's what I love about Parcell's comment. It is as basic as you can get. And it is true.

If there is not enough good comedy on this weekend, tune it the pre-game player hype and the postgame coach-speech.

You will laugh your ass off.