You Know You Are In Trouble

I made a bold decision yesterday.

I changed pizza places. But only on Tuesdays when I get out of work late.

Tuesday is pizza night. Carol bowls, and I have the contractual obligation of picking up pizza to be waiting for her upon her return home. If I get out early, it is there before she leaves to bowl so she can scarf a slice and power up.

There is a pizza joint whose pizza we love, but it is not on my way home. It adds 20 extra minutes to my commute.

Here's the issue. Because of my work schedule, weekends and late nights, Carol gets tons of Carol time. Time alone without The Joe.

She worships these moments. She dances around the house singing "Joe is not here and neither is his bullshit, I can do whatever I want to."

I have this on tape.

There are weeks when she can get up to 20 hours of alone time or more.

I get 4 hours on Tuesday nights. Unless I work late. Then I get 2 max, sometimes an hour and a half.

I am not being cruel here. Alone time is good for anybody. I do not begrudge Carol her carefree moments.

I just don't get enough of it.

So I decided to buy pizza at a joint that is on my way home. The pizza is good there, we are happy with it.

Last night was Night One of the new initiative. I got out of The Asylum at 6:30.

You know you are in trouble when you walk into a pizza joint and say "I am picking up a meat lovers with extra cheese ( as you can see I am sticking with my new, healthier diet) and a heated argument ensues. In Greek.

I had called the order in 45 minutes earlier.

The guy took my money and walked out back, yelled "meat lovers with extra cheese" and came back to the counter.

Ten seconds later, the matriarch of the place came around and began an angry discussion with counter dude, in Greek, right in front of me.

She walks away and he says to me "Five minutes." Like I am an idiot.

Obviously they had blown my order.

Twenty minutes later I am walking out the door with my precious pizza.

By the time I got home, iced up my neck and sat down to eat, it was 8:20.

Carol got home at 9:45.

So much for my brilliant time saving plan.

Thank God I can be alone in my head.

Believe me, nobody else wants to be in there.