Friday, March 16, 2012

Wake and Tek

Watched Tim Wakefield retire. Watched Jason Varitek retire. Watched them both struggle to choke back tears and fail. Long stretches of silence as they fought to compose themselves.
I've seen this a million times. I have been around a while. But it still moves me.
Athletes are comets. Their lives are intense, their careers are short. And they don't get to say when they retire. Their skills fade and they have to retire.
It must suck royally to still have the burning desire to compete and yet be forced into retirement by a failing body. Your mind screams no your body says too bad. You have been wanted all your life and suddenly nobody wants you. Can't get a contract with anybody. Cannot extend your career no matter how badly you might want to. And if you play beyond your aging skills for chump money you make a fool of yourself.
A lot of athletes die young. Maybe they burn too intensely. Pampered and under a microscope as little kids they are already thrown into the cogs of the machine. Up through Jr High and High School, college and on into the Pros. Intense scrutiny and attention, repetition, hard work, ever learning, practicing and honing.
Maximum attention in the bigs especially if you play in Boston or New York. It must be odd. I'm sure they adjust to it but probably not 100%. Gotta be a portion of the brain that says "Wow, baby this ain't natural. Who am I?" Gotta be somewhat bewildering.
Not a bad gig, though. Well rewarded in millions and perks and fame and world travel. The rest of us hunger to retire from the minute we set foot on our first job. And we just keep going. Thirty, forty, fifty years. Head down, spirits lower, bank account even lower. We consider ourselves lucky if retirement precedes death. When we retire we are old, slow moving and living on an impossible budget.
Something just seems backwards, out of kilter. The ones who get to enjoy life, really drink deeply of what it has to offer, get forced out of the limelight before they are ready for it. The ones who suffer endless decades of disappointment never get a break. They are looking for ways to slip off the yoke but they never find it.
"Hope I die before I get old"
"I'd rather burn out than fade away."
Rock and roll sentiments that sum up athletes' existence.
It's probably better to live hot and short than long and tortured.
I'll never know. I'm locked into another 22 years at The Booze Emporium. Gonna retire at 80. Then I'm really gonna swing.

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