I was sick as hell in October.
Upper respiratory infection. Kicked the hell out of me.
For a week to ten days I drank no whiskey at all. Had absolutely no urge to do so. When I got back to it, it did not taste right. It did not taste good.
What? Crown Royal? Did not taste right? I have been drinking Crown Royal since the second grade and have always loved the taste. LOVED it.
It still doesn't taste right. I bought a bottle of Jack Daniels, which was OK, but not spectacular. The other day I stooped low and bought a bottle of Seagram's 7. Seagram's fucking 7. I figured if I am not going to enjoy it I might as well save some money.
Editor's Note: Stop fucking judging me. Since I was sick I cut whiskey consumption by 75%. The last handle of Crown I bought lasted a month. I used to buy a handle a week. I go days without drinking any alcohol at all, and I have learned how to go to sleep without drinking whiskey. I am a man among men.
Used to be that drinking Seagram's 7 was like sucking on an overflow pipe from a septic tank. I only bought it when, after paying the fucking mortgage, the checking account balance was $8, of which I spent $7 on The 7. (This used to happen a lot).
I poured my first glass the other day, grimaced as I raised it to my lips, and................it didn't taste half bad. In fact it was kinda OK.
What the fuck is happening to me?
I am totally off balance.
I should drink only premium whiskey. I fucking deserve to drink only premium whiskey. Appropriate for my stage in life and my delusional self-image. Besides, goddamn it, I have done my homework. I sampled a lot of whiskey before landing on Crown Royal. A lot.
Maybe Jesus is sending me a message through my taste buds. Preparing me for poverty.
Poverty financially.
Poverty of the soul.
Jesus Fucking Christ - we already live 4 clicks below the poverty level.
How much worse can it get?
Fuck me.
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