I have been ripping myself a new asshole all year long.
It has been wonderful.
I have come to yet another conclusion - from now on I am giving my vocal cords a rest. I am cutting communication short. I am curtailing the details I am willing to reveal about my life. I am giving the shortest answer possible in every situation. I will be curt.
And I will explain nothing, and say nothing about what I intend to do.
I give out too much information. And nobody gives an everloving fuck.
If somebody asks how I'm doing I might say "I'm tired, I have not been sleeping very well, I feel lightheaded all the time." The light goes out of their eyes. Because they don't give a rat's ass about me - they only want to talk about themselves.
From now on all I will say is "I'm tired." Period. If they ask a follow-up question (highly unlikely), I will brush it aside.
The companion piece to this approach is that I will no longer show any interest in what other people say. I have wasted my entire life listening to other people with empathy. I have given them a gift that has never been returned.
Fuck them. From now on, all they get is a nod and a "really?"
The genesis for this epiphany, this new economical approach, is that I feel quite strongly that I am not connecting with people lately. And I don't fucking care.
I am sick of people. Always have been. But as 2023 approaches and I am given (improbably) another shot at making a life, I am breathing fire and spitting acid.
Laying waste, baby - laying waste.
I hope to burn the flesh off quite a few peoples' faces as I make my way into one more New Fucking Year.
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